It's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright
"there's no normal people here to get us down" - deebbbb
185 days. Here we go.
o vos omnes, qui transitis per viam, attendite et videte si est dolor sicut dolor meus. quoniam vindemiavit me, ut locutus est dominus in die irae furoris sui. vide domine! quoniam tribulor conturbatus est venter meus. subversum est cor meum in memetipsa...
and if you dont know, you don't know. wccvi darlings, do you remember?
the years were short but the days passed slowly by
hmm... i really wanna get a nose ring... not a ring, a stud, but still, you know?
state of emergency, how beautiful to be.
shit, why am i so shy? and when did i get this way? and how long will it stay, dammit? i feel like a fouryearold, hiding behind things when i'm scared
oh ego, please die. man, it's been killed so many times you think it'd just go away and i wouldn't give a fuck anymore... but no, its like godzilla... and i'm afraid. so again i say: ego, please die, dammit.
this might sound weird out of context like its being put right now, but trust me, it makes sense in context...
i was just listening to the cafe du cache soundtrack (a musical my bro's friend, rene wrote), for which my brother wrote the music.. and there's this one song about the leading lady, eva. and i realized in that song, she might as well be my twin.
"her dreams are mixed with mint julip her heart is kept in a jar she writes obituaries for the papers prefers the company of dead neighbors relies on self-relience for strength won't let you get closer than arms length"
so why do i push everyone away? i don't mean to, and i'm sorry. very.
i'm more afraid than you know. so please know that.
i feel dumb for spilling myself like this. i'll clean up, i promise.
so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different
Last night was muy fun. I was with Moose for 100%, and with Shana and other Sarah (from mccallum) for about 50%
It went: Bishop Elect + Chez Zee for dessert + Moose's abode + watched movies/tv + made cake + danced in the kitchen and acted silly...
Shana said that there was a Spanish tradition for the new year where for each toll of the clock at midnight, you ate a grape.. thus eating 12 grapes. Well, there was no clock that tolled, so at midnight (according to the microwave clock) shana tolled it while we stuffed grapes in our mouth, swallowing them down with champagne I nearly spit them everywhere in an attempt to not laugh
It was awesome.
And this morning... oh this morning.... many of you know of my magnolia affiliation, and this morning i was wearing one of my bazillion mag shirts. Nowhere was open (and I knew I would be eating the next 2 meals at the mag) so moose and I opted to go to, yes, the devil of devils, Kerbey Lane.
Now if you know me, you KNOW that I hate Kerbey Lane more than I hate anything else in the known universe, for more reasons than the obvious. But never the less, I follow the footsteps of my father:
I am an industrial spy.
Sh, don't tell..
So I had never been to Kerbey before, and I decided to see what the fuss was about. I walked in the door, with my mag shirt on... first thing, a waiter nudges another and the second waiters jaw drops at the sight of me walking in with my MAGNOLIA shirt on. Yeah bitches, I have the guts to wear that shirt into kerbey without a jacket over it.
Well, we sat down at the counter.... waited 15 minutes until ANYONE acknoledged us. We got water, and then waited another 25 minutes until the came back and took our food order
We got very simple food. Very. At any other establishment, it would have taken 6 minutes, 10 tops.
15 minutes later, our food came. Wu?
For the entire meal, this one waiter (highly attractive I might add, a buffer version of Conor Oberst) kept staring astonishedly at me... every time he was remotely near. I thought he hated me. Yeah. Then when we were leaving and walking from the bathroom, he was there and did the "heybabywasssuppp" head nod with a wink. Twas nice to know that not the entire world hated me at that moment?
Oh moose, it was so lovely being with you. Except I'm all burnt out on the spying stuff, I can't stomach that place anymore. It was fun though.
Then I worked all day at mommys store, and got home from work at 10 pm. Weee. The store closed at 3, but I stayed (and moose did too for a little too) to help count inventory.... I've raked in over 100 bucks in the past 3 days with the number of hours i've worked. YESSSSSSS
So this is the new year.... dcfc got it right
love yall. keep this year beautiful.
I'll try to do my part
picture stolen from moose
oh and also... I'm seriously considering transferring to mccallum. thoughts?
I donated to the Red Cross relief effort today, to try to help Asia, even a tiny bit. A little money can go a long way... buying at wholesale, I gave enough to feed a couple kids, bring someone clothes, something. Anything.
I hope the aid can alleviate even a tiny bit of the enormous pain Asia feels right now.
I ache just thinking about it... and I'm not affected at all, in any way, shape, or form. But when I look through the pictures, the faces of the mourning mothers, the dead hands rigor mortis in the air, I seize up inside..
That could have been anyone.
I compiled a small number of photos from www.nytimes.com, because I think it's really important for lots of people to see the pictures... because it's only an idea until you see the faces.
to donate, go to www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp
hope this song starts a craze, the kind of song that ignites the airways
My mom dragged me to the mall today. I hate shopping. I especially hate the mall.
So I put on the blue pseudo-aviators and donned a British accent (which was rotated with a Jersey one) and hit the mall harder than a guy getting mugged in the Bronx.
I put on my multi-colored plastic tiara (see a few entries down) when we got to Ann Taylor. Those ladies are good at glaring.
I hope I'm never like that.
I want to dye my hair black... hmm... I have a wig... I don't know if I'm going to dye it though. Giving it serious thought, however.
i said i'm wondering how it is i'm standing here...
It's cold in my house, so I went to the hall closet a couple minutes ago and grabbed this long fleece trench-coat looking jacket to wear. It's comfortable.
Then I got out some pomegranite juice from the fridge and poured it into an espresso glass, the one mac gave me for xmas, and I was standing in the kitchen, looking out the windows (even though it was dark and just reflection of the kitchen).
My mom comes into the kitchen and stops dead in her tracks when I glance over at her, sipping the juice. She says, "My god Ava, don't look at me like that. You look like a German existentialist!"
I immediately set down the cup and ran to the sink, spitting out the juice everywhere and laughing hysterically.
When I calmed down, I proceeded to go and try to finish the juice, but mom had found my camera and paparatzied me... snap.
I'm learning to play the bass, for the second time.
And in case you didn't know, I'm convinced that Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) is my soul mate. Psh, I ain't no La Fawnduh, but I think we'd get along...
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